Good-bye 2010

I have been putting off blogging for awhile because there is so much to say about starting a new year - and I was not ready to think about some of it. Nonetheless, I miss having an outlet through blogging so time for the 2010 wrap-up....

What I learned in 2010:
It is possible for me to live alone in my home. I have never lived alone before so this was a big test for me. Yes, I am a little paranoid so I had an alarm system installed the day I moved back in, but I very rarely have I felt as unsafe as I thought I would feel.

Possessions are simply things. I thought dividing all of the possessions/assets of my married life would be awful - and while it certainly wasn't a picnic, I realized after it was over that the items no longer here are not missed as much as I anticipated.

It is crucial to find time for yourself, especially when you're the only one watching out for you. In my previous life, I could tell I was working too much because the other person would point it out. In the past year, without that barometer to say, "Leave the office before 8:00", I have found myself running ragged on a number of occasions. I allow work to consume me, without regard for how it affects my body, mind, and non-work life - so for 2011, I am definitely going to start watching closer for the signs to keep myself from the burnout phase.

My family is amazing. To be honest, I didn't learn that in 2010 - as I have known it for a long time - but it has been reconfirmed in so many ways. We have been through some very challenging issues with my aging grandparents as a family this year, but each member has learned and grown from the experiences.

Getting old is hard work - and very few escape it, so I may as well embrace the idea that someday I will not be as active/mobile/competent as I am in the present day. One of my grandmas spends the majority of her time lamenting "the way she used to be" and I feel badly that I can't influence her to change her paradigm to appreciating what she has done, rather than mourning what she can no longer do.

Going back into the dating world is a roller coaster. There are ups and downs - and random turns you don't expect. You may compete with children, careers, home ownership responsibilities, etc that you don't face when you're dating at 19 years old. The stakes are higher because you're each bringing a lot more life experiences, which can be positive or negative, based on the person.

There's truly nothing worth panicking about. I have learned that no matter what is going on, it'll be okay. Prior to this year, I would allow myself to have "night stews" (appropriately named by my family), where I would lay in bed sleepless, consumed with worry about various topics. In 2010, I realized that almost everything I was stressing about was out of my control - and that it was time to give up night-stewing, because no matter what, changes occur every day and life goes on - perhaps different than you planned - but it is the way you handle these changes that define your character.

What an interesting year it has been. Earlier this year, I heard a quote by Albert Einstein stating, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Although I know I have seen them sometimes, one of my goals for 2011 is to more freely notice the miracles around me.

Happy two-thousand eleven!