Utah County

As part of the upcoming marriage, it is of course expected that a move will take place - although this won't be just any move....it will include us both packing up and moving to Alpine/Highland in Utah County to be closer to Chad's kids.  Although it is certainly the best thing for them, it is terrifying and sad for me - causing tears almost daily.

Let me first say, it is a beautiful place to live - and the homes we have looked at so far have been absolutely gorgeous, so I am not being dragged to the depths of hell or anything silly like that (for those who don't know the area).  However, it is ridiculously far from my current life/family and allows for zero diversity.

One of the local LDS Stakes in the area boasts a greater than 90% activity rate amongst members.  Wow.  While some would say that is great for kids, I look at it from the opposite side and feel like they are missing out on the diversity offered by different opinions and beliefs and wish there was something else to offer them.

Growing up on the upper east side of Salt Lake City, Utah, let's be honest, there was little diversity - and I lived a very homogeneous life in many ways.  However, after my divorce, I craved diversity in other people, as I suddenly felt like I didn't fit the mold of those around me - so I enjoyed it when I found other people who didn't either.  It wasn't that I was bitter about it, simply that almost every friend and cousin I had was happily married with children (or planning their children) and I was suddenly alone and scared, questioning my whole life up to that point.

I needed people from the outside who could say, "This may not be normal within your current culture, but it's normal for the rest of the world.  You're doing okay" - and it made me feel like less of a spectacle.  I started to appreciate the beautiful ways in which people can be so unique and started to crave more trips out of Utah to meet new people with new experiences and thoughts that were such a dichotomy from my own....and now it is one of my favorite parts of traveling.  I love to chat with people about their lives, their goals/futures, family expectations, religious beliefs, etc and hear about the ways in which we are both the same and different - in fact especially when we are different because it challenges my own thinking and gives me new perspective.

I am afraid of living in a like-minded community such a Highland/Alpine.  I don't want to be so far away from my comfort zone and where I currently function.  And of course, I don't want to live surrounded by BYU fans.

Ugh....and now I'm crying again.