In this long transition process, I have felt weirdly homeless, despite having my own home + spending most of my waking moments at Chad's home. Despite having (perceptibly) two homes, the ambiguity feels like I don't have one at all. I know this doesn't make sense, but it is a very real feeling for me.
Additionally, because we are in the process of selling Chad's home and trying to purchase a new home in Highland/Alpine. Some of our possessions (mainly skis, dirt bikes, etc) are being stored in a storage facility to help keep down the clutter of normal hustle-bustle as our agent shows Chad's home. Selling a home is such an interesting process of ups and downs...and constantly cleaning.
And so there exists a feeling of uncertainty and inability to really "dig in my roots" in any place.
E.B. White once wrote that "being between addresses is akin to being a lobster without a shell, so tender and nakedly vulnerable are we when home is neither here nor there and the comforts of roof and wall and best-loved chair are temporarily non-existent".
I, of course, have a roof over my head, as well as the basic functions of life, but some are at my house and some are at Chad's. It seems that the shoes I want to wear are frequently in the opposite house where I would like them to be - and the same is true but multiplied many times over when it comes to sock-searching. I've given up on remembering where things are and simply spread my possessions across both places so I can make-do with whatever seems to be happening at that moment.
I am hopeful that the process (and home-searching) will end soon, and my new shell will be found and feel settled once again.
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