As I've been going through this process, I have received lots of advice - some terrible, some useful. One of the most poignant observations I received was an email from a very dear friend - part of which says the following....
"There is an interesting thing that occurs. Very, very few people are able to remain friends with both parties. Divorce is a polarizing thing. Friends will either drift off, or remain in the social circle of one or the other, but not both. You learn who your friends really are.
And another thing. Very, very few people are comfortable around a divorcing person. The process must be very unsettling to people, especially other couples. You may find that you don't get much support from your social circle. There will be a couple of real friends who step up, but not as many as you might expect."
I have encountered numerous situations recently that completely confirm what he said here. There's no need to be lousy on my blog so I won't, but I will end this subject simply by saying that it's amazing who has come to my aid in the last six months - and who has not. I've been both pleasantly surprised and shocked by the dichotomy. Specifically in the last 24 hours I have experienced each of these situations, causing me to re-read and reconsider his email again.
Oh how interesting life can be. May God bless us to always remember that we truly never know the whole story and we shouldn't judge a situation based on our limited knowledge or perception.
Much love to you Sarah. I am so glad we've been reunited through our blogs! :) I hope that those who don't understand what you are going through can just love you for you are and offer the support you need (and that they'll try to keep their feet out of their mouths). And that those who do understand will be able to offer not just advice, but the strength in knowing that they've passed through the door you are going through, and that they are stronger on the other side. You will be too. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't feel that way about us, well me. I am a horrible friend to everyone since Cale, ok, I'll be honest, even before he added to our family. We are preparing our home to sell, hopefully soon, so on top of everything our crappy home will be in great shape just in time for us to ditch it. In the meantime, we literally have no time for anyone, much less each other.
ReplyDeleteI'll try to stop by this week. You really have been on my mind as of late and I keep meaning to drop by.
Are you thinking of coming back to the ward? Sorry, guess I should've sent an email! Liz