A little confession and weekend catch-up

So the little confession is this.....I found something unusual in my body about 6 weeks ago. I went a handful of doctors, ran a number of tests (utilized the fantastic healthcare system I work for, as well as our wonderful insurance plan) and ended up having a biopsy on Thursday morning.

Now - I know there will be at least a few people here who will be saying, "Why in the H didn't she tell me?" at this moment, but please understand that I didn't want anyone worrying about anything until I knew what it meant and/or if I needed to panic about it. I went through all of the diagnostic stuff without telling people and then finally broke down and told my parents and siblings about it a few days before the biopsy. So, if you're feeling left out, join the club. Don't be offended because that would simply add unnecessary drama at this point - you would have been told as soon as I found out if it was important. Until then, there was no need for lots of us to lose sleep - besides I kept telling myself that 27 year olds simply don't get breast cancer so there was no reason to worry.

Thursday morning I checked in, received local anesthetic, went through the biopsy (took 6 punches of the mass, which sounds surprisingly like a nail gun...yeah, that wasn't comfortable), had a really awkward conversation with the tech as she held the gauze in place to stop the bleeding for 10 minutes, and then went back to work with an icepack down my shirt. Awesome. No one said anything about my mis-shaped chest that day so I'm convinced that I either work with VERY polite people or no one notices my "physical attributes". Interesting.

Anyway, once the anesthetic wore off, I was in a lot of pain, didn't want to use my right arm AT ALL, or pretty much function so I went home to work in bed until a dear friend was available to took me out to celebrate "having it over" at Fleming's. DELICIOUS. I was so pleased with my food I thought I could cry.

I was still pretty sore Friday and super emotional about everything. If I had not been divorced this year, it would have been my 6th wedding anniversary and with all of the health stuff going on, I had stopped thinking about planning a trip. I knew I would get my results back that day and didn't want to be away from my family if there were any problems to report. I tried to work as normal but I physically felt awful and mentally I wasn't in it so the day was mostly a train wreck. I left early to go shopping in Park City with my mom and then my dad met us so they could take me on a date so we could "celebrate" (?) the evening together. Thanks to all of the friends and family that called and checked on me Friday, even though you didn't even know the whole story about why I was such a mess. The extra support was much needed and appreciated.

I decided that if I was still married I would have spent money buying presents and I certainly would have received some so it was only fitting to enjoy the shopping. I found 2 pairs of phenomenal new heels at Nine West, a bunch of clothes at Ann Taylor, new DKNY Be Delicious perfume (my favorite), new earrings, and a wonderful new tangerine eyeshadow that I have been wearing since. Exactly what the doctor ordered!

Speaking of doctors, just before I was leaving for the shopping adventure, I heard from mine to say "everything is fine" from the biopsy. The only follow up item in my head is the blue skin cleansing I received. Apparently they no longer use orange betadine to clean your skin - it's blue....and it stains for about a week. So (I apologize for being too graphic), one is blue and one is not. You get it. I look like I am half-Smurfette. No joke. If it wasn't pornographic, I would take a picture because it's so hilarious and worth seeing.

And with that, the experience is over and we don't need to think/talk/worry about it further.

I spent Saturday playing with my flowers (garden tour pics to follow soon), although I found myself getting fatigued really quickly (and still sore from Thursday) so I had to sit and rest often. It was wonderful to dig in my dirt.

Saturday evening I went on a blind date courtesy of Jake. Oh Jake.....I love you, my sweet brother.....but I might flick your nose. However, I do enjoy Bambara food (um...potato chips covered in blue cheese? yes please) so that was good.

Sunday has been the usual wonderful day. Church, time with fam, catching up on work (yes, on the Sabbath), sat in the garden for awhile, etc. Good day overall.

I am so grateful that everything worked out as hoped for - as this post could have been much different. I firmly believe that God knows our capacity; he watches over us and I believe he allows adversities in our lives as they are fitting for our growth and predicated on our abilities to deal with them. May we always live up to his challenges and our potential as children of Deity.